Bust the Myth of Enough

In our busy days, we are often so wrapped up in doing, achieving, and helping … Life comes flying at us at a dizzying pace, and we can get spun in that vortex. It’s shockingly easy to get lost in the illusion that if we could just somehow finish “the list” or perfect the project, then we would finally have arrived, and that we would (finally!) be ‘enough’.

When the day looms large ahead of us, with countless items to accomplish, it’s tempting to assign our worth to the number of items we get through.

But what if we are already enough right now, just as we are? Enough without changing, finishing, or fine-tuning anything?

When I’m mired in the urge to accomplish one more thing, I remember the words of beloved poet Mary Oliver from her poem Wild Geese.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

As a recovering fixer and people-pleaser, the idea that I don’t have to be good was initially a tough one to take on. Being good had become a powerful part of my identity. Caught up in creating my sense of self-worth through what I did and how well I did it had been an automatic mode for me.

But what about the “soft animal” of my body?

For years, I neglected what my body was whispering and then screaming at me. I became an expert in avoiding those messages that hold so much wisdom.

And then one day, I was forced to listen.

I was vacuuming my car and reached across to get the passenger’s side floor. Something happened in my body that stopped me in my tracks. The searing pain that went through my lower back took me to my knees. I could barely get out of the car and back in the house.

I was 32 years old and had two kids under the age of 3 and I couldn’t get off the couch; I could barely roll over. This lasted for an entire month and was accompanied by some serious stories and mental gymnastics. Twenty years later and I’m still uncovering my relationship with being enough and listening to the wisdom of my body, and helping others do the same.

I’ve learned some important lessons along the way. I hope they can help you too:

1. Your body is always speaking to you. Become as fluent as possible in the language of this wisdom.
2. What you do is not who you are. Getting a lot done every day is not a definition of your worth (even though it’s seductive to think it is, especially on a productive day.)
3. The world around you is filled with complexity. Becoming adept at navigating the unknowns is a superpower. Your body can help you.

So don’t go taking on the world: conquering every cause, perfecting the art of juggling all the things, while cooking a healthy meal and scheduling a meeting simultaneously — at least not to prove anything.

Let the challenges you take on be in pursuit of your passions, your spirit, and your soul. Maybe that does include juggling, flipping, and scheduling (not anyone else’s call to make but your own).

Know that many of the challenges you face will be un-chosen. For those, just show up. Do what you can. Don’t try to do any of it perfectly. Know that you are enough.

Right now, that gem of your true worth already exists inside you, without you having to perform or prove anything. The only thing to do is uncover it by letting go of the “shoulds” and “have-tos” that have gotten in the way of clear communication with your body and your soul.

Right now, just take a breath into the idea that you are enough. It might not be easy, but it’s the first step in what could become the most magnificent journey.

If you’re looking for a companion on that journey, send me a message, It’s one of my favorite things to do.